Thursday, 8 December 2016

The 48 hours when I didn't think self-management worked...

I had about 48 hours mid-2016 when I honestly thought self-management didn’t work. Everything that I had based the last 5 or so years of my life (personally and professionally) was a lie. Those 48 hours painfully passed, and left me with a reaffirmed understanding of self-management and belief in the process.

That invisible way stress accumulates, that way you start to be aware of it and think that you can cling on until X or Y and then you can rest and sort it all out… and then very suddenly, you can’t and it all crashes down around you. I had what I can only describe as a the worst panic attack, but it was nothing to do with panic and more a depression attack, but with all the standard panic attack symptoms. Typical for me, with my history of major medical events, this happened whilst I was out sailing. Whisked away by my (utterly brilliant and unconditionally supportive) parents to my grandmothers house, a real safe haven for me, I was in shock and quite numb. Everything had just got a bit too much, and I had burnt out.